lulu: Khalid what exactly do u wanna prove by coming here? that u can get in even if u were'nt invited? ok you've proved that point. now can you please leave before meshal comes? i dont want him seeing you here.
khalid: lulu i got you a wedding gift, i love you...since we were 5 w anna i look at you from afar and think of how happy i will be if i got to play with you. bas u always hung out with the girls and when you got older you didnt even bother to look at me anymore. shsawait ana??!! i just liked you. is that a crime ya3ni?!!
lulu: khalid lama im ur friends girl, it is... inzain im sorry bas im not accepting a wedding gift from you....
minute by minute by heart beat faster.
the fear of getting caught talking to him.
the fear wasnt the only thing causing my heart to accelerate... his smile
it always made me uncomfortable to think about it because i was weirdly drawn to it
im about to get married and im thinking about a man's smile
a man other than my fiance....
oh dear...
khalid: the thing is lulu ana yay 3ashan a36eech ilhadiya w mashy, itha u wanna keep contact later on kaifich ana mawjood either way...
he went to the kitchen counter and pulled a box out of what i thought was a normal bag someone had thrown into the kitchen... he pulled out a beautiful bracelet... and asked if he could put it on my wrist.
i was speechless.
i know he likes me and everything even though im about to get married, but hes my cousin..i have to accept this from him dont you think?
i held out my wrist and he put the beautiful bracelt on it. it matched my dress and i had no idea how he figured out that it would. i smiled at him and turned to leave... thats when he held my arm
khalid: agool lulu....
(ma gidart i keep it as a cliff hanger right there i love u guys too much)
khalid: lamma the night is over please look on the inside of the bracelt...
lulu: inshallah thank you so much for this u didnt hav--..... oh hi meshal.....
meshal: Damn it are you kidding me!! esh-hal ma95ara!! shitsawoon intaw! LULU MIN 9IJJICH! LA W HI MESHAL BA3AD!
and with that i could see the flames shooting out of his eyes meaning that i was in deep trouble...and so was khalid...
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Black Love 11
3ala shan 3yoon bluelilies ;**
dedicated to both bluelilies and my beautiful little sister who hass a presentation at school tomorrow. It'll rock believe me ;)
and bluelilies hunni dont forget ill be posting daily so dont worry ull get enough of me :P
please dont mind the spelling errors, spell check has been going nutso on me.
__________________________________________________________________
khalid.....he was my cousin. he was very close to meshal after what happened to wahab and i knew for a fact that he loved me since we were both ten.
he was tanned and muscular, he had a dimple on one cheek and hair that was so messy you could lose something in it...his grin though, it was a bad boy grin...but no, like i said before i was lulu the saint no guy, no matter how handsome he was could get me to agree to date him.
not that khalid didnt try. he talked to his mother, my mother, my grandmother, he even convinced his older sister aljour to talk to me but i wouldnt but i wouldnt budge. Guys were the last thing on my mind then and i wanted nothing to do with them.
after he became close with meshal i would bump into him frequently at the hospital and it was always awkward. this continued up until meshal got out of the hospital. it was then, and i think this was because he did not see me frequently anymore, that he started to annoy me with phone calls every night. i must have gotten about 20 missed calls per night and i was freaked out in the beginning because wahab was gone and i had noone to go to and ask to make this stop. it wasnt until one day my mother asked me to call khalid and remind him that his family was invited to lunch at our house and she handed me her phone to call him.
it was only then that to my utter shock did i realize that the number that had been calling me continuously for the last few months was none other than khalids number and that i had to put an end for this once and for all at the lunch we were having that day. i called meshal that day and told him about this because we were already engaged now and i didnt tell him about the calls since it was already a part of my nightly routine - ignoring the unknown caller. Meshal was furious, he told khalid to stay away from me and that we were engaged to be married, that if he was to approach me in any way after today he was going to have to deal with meshal's wrath. this apperently struck a vein and khalid no longer called me any longer, i also found out from meshal that he would walk out of a place whenever khalid walked into it and that they never hung out anymore. i had been the reason for the detoriation of that friendship but to me it seemed that khalid was the one that caused it not me. he decided to act on impulse and call me, more like invade my privacy with calls, even thought he knew i was no longer his.
this was really not good. Meshal wouldnt walk out of his wedding if khalid walked in and khalid knew that. maybe this was why he decided to come. maybe he was spiteful. maybe he was up to something that would shock the both of us. all i knew was that meshal was going to either freak out when he sees khalid or he will totally ignore him unless khalid provokes him. either way he will no longer be in a good mood and it will definately somewhat ruin my wedding day.
i was not going to let that happen. i couldnt let khalid ruin my day. even though it was with a man that i no longer trusted. what i had to do now was the hardest thing ive ever done before, but yes i decided to do it for my wedding. i went back into the living room and found my phone. i called khalid:
"aloo khalid ill talk to you in the side door that leads to the kitchen. be there in 7 minutes, and dont you dare be late or tell anyone about that or else i will personally murder you"
and with that i shut the phone, got up from the living room and headed towards the garden waiting for him to arrive....all the while, i kept thinking to myself which him was i thinking about?
dedicated to both bluelilies and my beautiful little sister who hass a presentation at school tomorrow. It'll rock believe me ;)
and bluelilies hunni dont forget ill be posting daily so dont worry ull get enough of me :P
please dont mind the spelling errors, spell check has been going nutso on me.
__________________________________________________________________
khalid.....he was my cousin. he was very close to meshal after what happened to wahab and i knew for a fact that he loved me since we were both ten.
he was tanned and muscular, he had a dimple on one cheek and hair that was so messy you could lose something in it...his grin though, it was a bad boy grin...but no, like i said before i was lulu the saint no guy, no matter how handsome he was could get me to agree to date him.
not that khalid didnt try. he talked to his mother, my mother, my grandmother, he even convinced his older sister aljour to talk to me but i wouldnt but i wouldnt budge. Guys were the last thing on my mind then and i wanted nothing to do with them.
after he became close with meshal i would bump into him frequently at the hospital and it was always awkward. this continued up until meshal got out of the hospital. it was then, and i think this was because he did not see me frequently anymore, that he started to annoy me with phone calls every night. i must have gotten about 20 missed calls per night and i was freaked out in the beginning because wahab was gone and i had noone to go to and ask to make this stop. it wasnt until one day my mother asked me to call khalid and remind him that his family was invited to lunch at our house and she handed me her phone to call him.
it was only then that to my utter shock did i realize that the number that had been calling me continuously for the last few months was none other than khalids number and that i had to put an end for this once and for all at the lunch we were having that day. i called meshal that day and told him about this because we were already engaged now and i didnt tell him about the calls since it was already a part of my nightly routine - ignoring the unknown caller. Meshal was furious, he told khalid to stay away from me and that we were engaged to be married, that if he was to approach me in any way after today he was going to have to deal with meshal's wrath. this apperently struck a vein and khalid no longer called me any longer, i also found out from meshal that he would walk out of a place whenever khalid walked into it and that they never hung out anymore. i had been the reason for the detoriation of that friendship but to me it seemed that khalid was the one that caused it not me. he decided to act on impulse and call me, more like invade my privacy with calls, even thought he knew i was no longer his.
this was really not good. Meshal wouldnt walk out of his wedding if khalid walked in and khalid knew that. maybe this was why he decided to come. maybe he was spiteful. maybe he was up to something that would shock the both of us. all i knew was that meshal was going to either freak out when he sees khalid or he will totally ignore him unless khalid provokes him. either way he will no longer be in a good mood and it will definately somewhat ruin my wedding day.
i was not going to let that happen. i couldnt let khalid ruin my day. even though it was with a man that i no longer trusted. what i had to do now was the hardest thing ive ever done before, but yes i decided to do it for my wedding. i went back into the living room and found my phone. i called khalid:
"aloo khalid ill talk to you in the side door that leads to the kitchen. be there in 7 minutes, and dont you dare be late or tell anyone about that or else i will personally murder you"
and with that i shut the phone, got up from the living room and headed towards the garden waiting for him to arrive....all the while, i kept thinking to myself which him was i thinking about?
Black Love 10
I got into my dress and attended the wedding party
we decided to have it in our garden since it was big enough and we only wanted to invite people that were close relatives.
all night i kept wondering why i was going through with this. i have proven time and time again to myself that i do not trust meshal and when dana came and told me that story i because more sure of this. my father was sick, he had heart problems. and my mother? she needed me to get married so she can travel abroad with my father in order to either get him a heart transplant or surgery. That was why i cudnt say no to marrying meshal now. the feelings of anxiety accompanied me all night. i was tired and my brain was going through millions of thoughts per minute. Meshal still was not here but he was expected to arrive soon.
i need to act like I'm ok. like we're ok. for now at least. when meshal and i are in that house together i will confront him. i need to hear his side. i need to know what he was thinking and what really happened.
my phone was ringing and i was shocked when i saw the number on the screen. i didnt have it saved under a contact because i had lost touch with that person a long time ago. my heart started to beat furiously and i had to contemplate the idea of whether i should or shouldn't pick up. it has been SO long.. why now? why haven't i received this call earlier? i decided to answer just to know why...
"guwa lulu, sim3eeni lulu ni6reeni ilaila w ya wailich in 6ila3tay wiya mesh3alo gabil la a7acheech...please lulu"
"khalid arjook la tiye ma abeek w mesh3al a9lan ma yabeek itye!!"
"iy9eer 5air ya lulu"
with that he shut the phone, and with horror i realized that i was in for a wedding night that i had never planned to turn out like this....
we decided to have it in our garden since it was big enough and we only wanted to invite people that were close relatives.
all night i kept wondering why i was going through with this. i have proven time and time again to myself that i do not trust meshal and when dana came and told me that story i because more sure of this. my father was sick, he had heart problems. and my mother? she needed me to get married so she can travel abroad with my father in order to either get him a heart transplant or surgery. That was why i cudnt say no to marrying meshal now. the feelings of anxiety accompanied me all night. i was tired and my brain was going through millions of thoughts per minute. Meshal still was not here but he was expected to arrive soon.
i need to act like I'm ok. like we're ok. for now at least. when meshal and i are in that house together i will confront him. i need to hear his side. i need to know what he was thinking and what really happened.
my phone was ringing and i was shocked when i saw the number on the screen. i didnt have it saved under a contact because i had lost touch with that person a long time ago. my heart started to beat furiously and i had to contemplate the idea of whether i should or shouldn't pick up. it has been SO long.. why now? why haven't i received this call earlier? i decided to answer just to know why...
"guwa lulu, sim3eeni lulu ni6reeni ilaila w ya wailich in 6ila3tay wiya mesh3alo gabil la a7acheech...please lulu"
"khalid arjook la tiye ma abeek w mesh3al a9lan ma yabeek itye!!"
"iy9eer 5air ya lulu"
with that he shut the phone, and with horror i realized that i was in for a wedding night that i had never planned to turn out like this....
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Promise
hey guys
I know I've been away for a LONG time
but i PROMISE I'm going to start posting everyday next week
i just need this time period to be over and I'm all yours
Again, sorry to my 32 followers but the stuff that Ive been going through has made my life really hectic.
Black Love
I know I've been away for a LONG time
but i PROMISE I'm going to start posting everyday next week
i just need this time period to be over and I'm all yours
Again, sorry to my 32 followers but the stuff that Ive been going through has made my life really hectic.
Black Love
Friday, January 22, 2010
Black Love 9
i went to the beach
my sanctuary
the sound of the waves calmed me down
they relaxed me and thats exactly what i needed after that talk with danah.
i called meshal and told him to come
he knew this is where i am every time i am in distress
he told me he was already on his way and that he expected i would be there
i shut the phone and cried.
my fiance, and my best friend
they were together before?
and why would meshal never tell me?
why did he have to betray my trust in him
he lied to me
about dana
he said the only way he knew her was because he had heard things about her
i was a serious mess
my eyes were swollen and i knew this because i felt them
they were about to explode
when meshal came he tried to hug me
but i quickly moved away from him
i looked at him with sad eyes....
"why meshal? you and danah? and you never told me?"
you see i really dont blame him for my brothers death, it wasnt his fault
my brother was rash and decided to fight for me, he should have waited for more friends to back him up though, anyway he's dead and there was nothing i could do about it
"lulu i was afraid to tell you, i thought u would hate me and never speak to me again...you mean so much to me...I.....I love you....."
he was lying, i could see it in his eyes
he was just scared of my reaction if he said anything else....
i let it go
i didnt say anything to him
and i calmly went back into my car
and drove back home,
back to my life...
one that had noting to do with danah
but meshal.....did it have anything to do with him?
you'll know in the future...
Present.....
mimi came to me in the car
she hugged me
she told me to stop crying or else i would have puffy eyes
she said my mother had called her
that they were all looking for me
we got back to my house
and my mother hugged me and said she tought something bad had happened to me
she told me to go to my room and take a quick bath
she was tearing up
which would have been weird if it was any other day because my mother doesnt usually cry about anything
no today my mother was crying for a different reason
she was crying because tonight was the night meshal and i were getting married.....
my sanctuary
the sound of the waves calmed me down
they relaxed me and thats exactly what i needed after that talk with danah.
i called meshal and told him to come
he knew this is where i am every time i am in distress
he told me he was already on his way and that he expected i would be there
i shut the phone and cried.
my fiance, and my best friend
they were together before?
and why would meshal never tell me?
why did he have to betray my trust in him
he lied to me
about dana
he said the only way he knew her was because he had heard things about her
i was a serious mess
my eyes were swollen and i knew this because i felt them
they were about to explode
when meshal came he tried to hug me
but i quickly moved away from him
i looked at him with sad eyes....
"why meshal? you and danah? and you never told me?"
you see i really dont blame him for my brothers death, it wasnt his fault
my brother was rash and decided to fight for me, he should have waited for more friends to back him up though, anyway he's dead and there was nothing i could do about it
"lulu i was afraid to tell you, i thought u would hate me and never speak to me again...you mean so much to me...I.....I love you....."
he was lying, i could see it in his eyes
he was just scared of my reaction if he said anything else....
i let it go
i didnt say anything to him
and i calmly went back into my car
and drove back home,
back to my life...
one that had noting to do with danah
but meshal.....did it have anything to do with him?
you'll know in the future...
Present.....
mimi came to me in the car
she hugged me
she told me to stop crying or else i would have puffy eyes
she said my mother had called her
that they were all looking for me
we got back to my house
and my mother hugged me and said she tought something bad had happened to me
she told me to go to my room and take a quick bath
she was tearing up
which would have been weird if it was any other day because my mother doesnt usually cry about anything
no today my mother was crying for a different reason
she was crying because tonight was the night meshal and i were getting married.....
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Black Love 8
"i don't care what you say by now. him and i are engaged. he made sure to tell the world that he wants me, so danah give up already the man doesn't want you. don't make a fool out of yourself and only realize it afterwards...."
i can tell that pissed her off but she deserved it
"he loves you but im pretty sure that after you hear what i have to say and after you realize that him and i were both the reason for wahab's death you wouldn't want anything to do with him...."
"WHAT! hes the reason for wahab's death! danah start talking i dont have all day and ive already spent so much time with you. so much more than i intended to at least."
"fine. im sure you arnt going to like what you're going to hear about your fiance anyways so why elongate this talk when im sure that u wudnt wanna have anything to do with him after our talk today."
"anywayyyyyys, so meshal 7abeebi 7ayatie and i had decided to meet up. behind your brother's back of course. this was on the day of the fight. i honestly didn't think that wahab was going to fight it off with 3aboood. i told meshal not to go because both of us thought that he was just talking to talk...you know that he wasn't going to do anything about it other than get pissed and punch a few guys..."
"so meshal went to meet you even after he told my brother he stopped talking to you?"
"which shows you what kind of hypocrite he is...yes we had decided we were going to start dating once again....so anyways we took too long on our date apparently, we were too busy that meshal forgot to check his phone....and when he saw it he found 6 missed calls from wahab....he left immediately of course...but he got there to find wahab was already stabbed and 3abood was bleeding...i guess he fought 3abood and ended up killing him or something and he got hurt in the process....bas he was not there in the beginning, contrary to what he told you i was the one he called and told after the fight had finished and i called the ambulance for him...i was so freaked out that day..."
"you are a liar. he was badly injured....but whatever you say i dont think im going to quite believe you...and wait how come i never saw u at the hospital when i went to visit him? if you loved each other so much why were you not there comforting the man you loved...."
"because he said we were the reason he died and he wanted nothing to do with me then. he said if he had just listened to wahab then everything would be normal and no one would've gotten hurt except 3abood and his friends....he was reli messed up after the fight..."
"danah, what makes you think he still wants you? hes engaged to ME"
"well that's why i called you....he ummm called me a couple of nights ago and suggested we meet up. seeing that we were once best friends i wanted to give you a heads up on what you are up against. you see i am more beautiful than you are so im pretty sure this is going to make him want me more....."
"danah....im leaving...you and your halaga can stay here and enjoy the rest of your day..."
i left that coffee shop in shock
what just happened
my brother was killed because of my best friend and my fiance
and mistake they made when they were both TOGETHER?
how can this be!
i need to get away from everything
i need to talk to him
soon
i need to know what he thinks about this
was it true
or was danah playing with my head....
i really dont know what to expect....
i can tell that pissed her off but she deserved it
"he loves you but im pretty sure that after you hear what i have to say and after you realize that him and i were both the reason for wahab's death you wouldn't want anything to do with him...."
"WHAT! hes the reason for wahab's death! danah start talking i dont have all day and ive already spent so much time with you. so much more than i intended to at least."
"fine. im sure you arnt going to like what you're going to hear about your fiance anyways so why elongate this talk when im sure that u wudnt wanna have anything to do with him after our talk today."
"anywayyyyyys, so meshal 7abeebi 7ayatie and i had decided to meet up. behind your brother's back of course. this was on the day of the fight. i honestly didn't think that wahab was going to fight it off with 3aboood. i told meshal not to go because both of us thought that he was just talking to talk...you know that he wasn't going to do anything about it other than get pissed and punch a few guys..."
"so meshal went to meet you even after he told my brother he stopped talking to you?"
"which shows you what kind of hypocrite he is...yes we had decided we were going to start dating once again....so anyways we took too long on our date apparently, we were too busy that meshal forgot to check his phone....and when he saw it he found 6 missed calls from wahab....he left immediately of course...but he got there to find wahab was already stabbed and 3abood was bleeding...i guess he fought 3abood and ended up killing him or something and he got hurt in the process....bas he was not there in the beginning, contrary to what he told you i was the one he called and told after the fight had finished and i called the ambulance for him...i was so freaked out that day..."
"you are a liar. he was badly injured....but whatever you say i dont think im going to quite believe you...and wait how come i never saw u at the hospital when i went to visit him? if you loved each other so much why were you not there comforting the man you loved...."
"because he said we were the reason he died and he wanted nothing to do with me then. he said if he had just listened to wahab then everything would be normal and no one would've gotten hurt except 3abood and his friends....he was reli messed up after the fight..."
"danah, what makes you think he still wants you? hes engaged to ME"
"well that's why i called you....he ummm called me a couple of nights ago and suggested we meet up. seeing that we were once best friends i wanted to give you a heads up on what you are up against. you see i am more beautiful than you are so im pretty sure this is going to make him want me more....."
"danah....im leaving...you and your halaga can stay here and enjoy the rest of your day..."
i left that coffee shop in shock
what just happened
my brother was killed because of my best friend and my fiance
and mistake they made when they were both TOGETHER?
how can this be!
i need to get away from everything
i need to talk to him
soon
i need to know what he thinks about this
was it true
or was danah playing with my head....
i really dont know what to expect....
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Black Love 7
i know its been a while!
and im sorry you guys BUT i had to consider where i wanted this to go.
i hope u like it!
and thanks for the comments!
xxx
____________________________________
My brother wahab?
what?
why wud he do that?
esp when he knew that she was my friend
and he was making her look bad.
i got quiet for a while.
then looked up at her.
she had tears in her eyes.
but she also had a look that i will never forget
a look of hatred that seemed as if it was overtaking her mind an soul
one that sent a surge of terror through my back
why the hell was she looking at me like that
and why the hell did she want to meet me if she was mad at me, or my brother
who has passed away might i add....
"danah look, its over, my brother died. your love with meshal also died, and meshal is with me now. we're engaged. i dont get what you're aiming to gain out of meeting here today. all i know is that my brother must have been both sorry and relieved that you and meshal are not together anymore. sorry for breaking two people who loved each other apart. and relieved that his friend had nothing to do with someone who's reputation exceeded her. danah its time you move on. its time you give up. its time you leave me alone!"
and with that tears started to flow down my face.
i dont understand why i was crying.
maybe i was just hormonal?
point is she really got to me.
i came here today even though my gut feeling had told me to do otherwise
but i came.
for old times' sake.
and this is what we end up doing to each other.
making each other cry.
danah quickly wiped away her tears.
"lulu, dont you wanna hear how your brother died?"
"theres more to this?"
"yeah, there is."
"start talking"
"on one condition though"
"that is?"
"you hear me out, everything that i have to say. ur gonna want to intterupt, but please dont"
"fine. TALK"
"i started to date meshal when i was 16, he was hot, but we lacked compatibility. he was the hot guy that everyone wanted. and i was the girl that went after that guy that everyone wanted. i didnt even like meshal. i guess i also did it to make him jealous. he was the one who caught my eye. i had a huge crush on him. but he didnt share my feelings. so i had to follow any other guy who took my mind off of him. i needed to forget him. and thats exactly what i did. i started getting physical with meshal. so physical that wahab could tell simply by looking at meshals eyes. he read into his soul. he knew everything."
"so wahab being the gentleman that he wsa decided to stop whatever u guys were doing?"
"yes. he talked meshal into breaking up with me, and meshal did, but after he had done so i realized that i had falled for him. badly. meshal had become the man that i wanted. and what made matters worse was that now for the second time, i was regected. i felt like an ugly dog that nobody wanted. even you got so much attention although u didnt want it. but i, i got the wrong attention, i lost the attention of the second man that i had grown to love."
"danah you do realize that you're talking about my fiance right? like right in front of me. im marrying him in a month you know."
"for now, thats the plan....but lulu plans change, nothing is written in stone....."
"danah what..." but she interupted me.
"lulu let me finish my story."
"you and your brother pissed me off. as a said before, i was jealous of you even though u were ntohing but nice to me. maybe thats why you got on my nerves....because u were so nice!
i decided to talk to one of my old friends.....his name was 3abood....Al-Flani"
"YOU BITCH!"
"listen to the end please. you promised."
"finish quickly cuz i cant even look at your face right now."
"i told him to make you fall for him. i did that to prove to your brother wahab that even YOU were fallable, that people made mistakes. i told wahab to follow us around, to go to the beach whenever i knew that you would be there for your occasional walk, just so you wud coincidently bump into each other. that was my plan. to make you fall for him."
"but i didnt, i didnt make that mistake. i proved to you that i was well brought up. i had my own morals that i knew could not be bent or sacrificed. not for anyone."
"yea but you were also stupid enough to go to your brother. you proved that you never had experience with men. not really"
"so me telling wahab made your friend kill him? thats how my brother died? because my so called best friend wanted to test me?" i screamed at her!
"not really" she looked right at me, then lowered her head. she was playing with her hands. the she decided to finally say something.
"lulu, this is going to get worse every second that i try to explain myself. i did this wanting to hurt you. and i did. but i hurt myself and others too. if youve had enough then leave. if you wanna know the absolute truth......u have to be strong. and to let me finish to the end...."
"danah what else did you do! why are u ruining my life!"
thats when she smiled. " lulu, what was ruined was in the past. i have a man that i need to get back. i hope that doesnt ruin your plans for the future though, lets say i hope u dont have high hopes, cuz hes going to come back to me...."
after all that...
she still has the audacity
to look me in the eye
and say that
shes going to regret it
but, i need to hear the end of this
once and for all
thats when i decided to not interrupt her. for the sake of getting this done with.
so i could punish her
for the awful things she did to my family
to my brother
to....me.
and im sorry you guys BUT i had to consider where i wanted this to go.
i hope u like it!
and thanks for the comments!
xxx
____________________________________
My brother wahab?
what?
why wud he do that?
esp when he knew that she was my friend
and he was making her look bad.
i got quiet for a while.
then looked up at her.
she had tears in her eyes.
but she also had a look that i will never forget
a look of hatred that seemed as if it was overtaking her mind an soul
one that sent a surge of terror through my back
why the hell was she looking at me like that
and why the hell did she want to meet me if she was mad at me, or my brother
who has passed away might i add....
"danah look, its over, my brother died. your love with meshal also died, and meshal is with me now. we're engaged. i dont get what you're aiming to gain out of meeting here today. all i know is that my brother must have been both sorry and relieved that you and meshal are not together anymore. sorry for breaking two people who loved each other apart. and relieved that his friend had nothing to do with someone who's reputation exceeded her. danah its time you move on. its time you give up. its time you leave me alone!"
and with that tears started to flow down my face.
i dont understand why i was crying.
maybe i was just hormonal?
point is she really got to me.
i came here today even though my gut feeling had told me to do otherwise
but i came.
for old times' sake.
and this is what we end up doing to each other.
making each other cry.
danah quickly wiped away her tears.
"lulu, dont you wanna hear how your brother died?"
"theres more to this?"
"yeah, there is."
"start talking"
"on one condition though"
"that is?"
"you hear me out, everything that i have to say. ur gonna want to intterupt, but please dont"
"fine. TALK"
"i started to date meshal when i was 16, he was hot, but we lacked compatibility. he was the hot guy that everyone wanted. and i was the girl that went after that guy that everyone wanted. i didnt even like meshal. i guess i also did it to make him jealous. he was the one who caught my eye. i had a huge crush on him. but he didnt share my feelings. so i had to follow any other guy who took my mind off of him. i needed to forget him. and thats exactly what i did. i started getting physical with meshal. so physical that wahab could tell simply by looking at meshals eyes. he read into his soul. he knew everything."
"so wahab being the gentleman that he wsa decided to stop whatever u guys were doing?"
"yes. he talked meshal into breaking up with me, and meshal did, but after he had done so i realized that i had falled for him. badly. meshal had become the man that i wanted. and what made matters worse was that now for the second time, i was regected. i felt like an ugly dog that nobody wanted. even you got so much attention although u didnt want it. but i, i got the wrong attention, i lost the attention of the second man that i had grown to love."
"danah you do realize that you're talking about my fiance right? like right in front of me. im marrying him in a month you know."
"for now, thats the plan....but lulu plans change, nothing is written in stone....."
"danah what..." but she interupted me.
"lulu let me finish my story."
"you and your brother pissed me off. as a said before, i was jealous of you even though u were ntohing but nice to me. maybe thats why you got on my nerves....because u were so nice!
i decided to talk to one of my old friends.....his name was 3abood....Al-Flani"
"YOU BITCH!"
"listen to the end please. you promised."
"finish quickly cuz i cant even look at your face right now."
"i told him to make you fall for him. i did that to prove to your brother wahab that even YOU were fallable, that people made mistakes. i told wahab to follow us around, to go to the beach whenever i knew that you would be there for your occasional walk, just so you wud coincidently bump into each other. that was my plan. to make you fall for him."
"but i didnt, i didnt make that mistake. i proved to you that i was well brought up. i had my own morals that i knew could not be bent or sacrificed. not for anyone."
"yea but you were also stupid enough to go to your brother. you proved that you never had experience with men. not really"
"so me telling wahab made your friend kill him? thats how my brother died? because my so called best friend wanted to test me?" i screamed at her!
"not really" she looked right at me, then lowered her head. she was playing with her hands. the she decided to finally say something.
"lulu, this is going to get worse every second that i try to explain myself. i did this wanting to hurt you. and i did. but i hurt myself and others too. if youve had enough then leave. if you wanna know the absolute truth......u have to be strong. and to let me finish to the end...."
"danah what else did you do! why are u ruining my life!"
thats when she smiled. " lulu, what was ruined was in the past. i have a man that i need to get back. i hope that doesnt ruin your plans for the future though, lets say i hope u dont have high hopes, cuz hes going to come back to me...."
after all that...
she still has the audacity
to look me in the eye
and say that
shes going to regret it
but, i need to hear the end of this
once and for all
thats when i decided to not interrupt her. for the sake of getting this done with.
so i could punish her
for the awful things she did to my family
to my brother
to....me.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Black Love 6
''danah i hope whatever u have to say is imp because i had to refuse a very important call because of it''
''oh please! if it was meshal dont worry he wont go anywhere he's probably sitting right next to his phone waiting for you to call him back''
''Danah how the hell do you know meshal? and why do you keep talking about him like you know exactly what he would be doing right know? as if you've known him for ages..''
''Lulu hun....thats because i have'' and she smirked at me as if i was an idiot
wait what?
she knows meshal?
my meshal?
my fiance?
how?
when?
where?
and since when does meshal know ppl like her?
well at least its better to say ppl like what shes become
cuz i used to be her friend in all fairness....
point is what the hell is going on here?
i looked at her with rage firing from my eyes, i guess she saw it, i knew that her comment infuriated me....made me want more information from her
''ok so are you going to talk or not?''
''first we make a little agreement, then we meet up again and i will spill i promise''
''alright, what do u have in mind?''
''my terms are easy, pay me 10,000 KD and you know everything''
''are you insane! 10,000! no way am i paying someone that much money for information!''
what the hell is she thinking!
''you can go to hell danah but im leaving''
''let me ask you something....meshal still snores right? i mean when u guys have that romantic thing where you stay on the phone all night just to pretend like you're sleeping with one another...he snores....right?''
how the hell did she know?
why does she know so much about my fiance!
theres something that i dont know
something that i need to figure out!
but she can go to hell if she thinks im paying her that much money to find out
''alright yes..a lot of men snore....so what...''
''oh believe me lulu i know a lot of other things...like the fact that he has a cute lisp that appears only when hes excited, and the fact that he will hug his girlfriend and never ever kiss her....he even tells her when hes in a relationship with her that hes like that.....''
''alright danah im serious spill how do you know all this about my fiance?''
''you see lulu, i bet no matter how hard you look, you wont find a guy in kuwait that didnt date me for a little while, it was a goal of mine you see.....and your fiance? he was my first serious relationship...i loved him and he loved me back with all his heart...''
i was shocked! but i wasnt going to giver that bitch the satisfaction of seeing that....''so you were together, and you loved him and he loved you....yada yada yada..... why arnt u together now?''
she had a bitter look on her face.....''i lost that man, the man i loved because of another man, a man that made him dump me because he cudnt stand to see us together and happy...a man i will never forgive as long as im alive...''
shes insane...seriously i think that shes nuts ''alright, if i believe all the crap that you're saying here, lets assume that i do....who was the man and why would he do that?''
she looked at me with sadness filling her eyes...''the man did that because he had heard of me dating so many men and thought that i wasnt worthy of his friend, he thought we were better off seperated...that man is a freak...''
''you're forgetting the more important question here....WHO was that man danah? im starting to think that staying was a bad idea. clearly you just wanna waste my time and fill my head with crap because u cant believe that im getting married to the love of your life in a month...''
''lulu you dont get it do you? screw meshal, he was a **** for even listening to his friend and not fighting for me...no, the thing thats killing me until today is that man. that annoying pathetic excuse of a man who did that to us to begin with no matter how meshal turned out....''
''danah spare me the details, tell me who the hell that man was before i decide to leave''
she looked at me with an unreadable expression and whispered ''lulu that man was your brother wahab....''
great.
just great.
just when i thought things coulddnt get worse...
they do.
i should learn by now that they always do....
''oh please! if it was meshal dont worry he wont go anywhere he's probably sitting right next to his phone waiting for you to call him back''
''Danah how the hell do you know meshal? and why do you keep talking about him like you know exactly what he would be doing right know? as if you've known him for ages..''
''Lulu hun....thats because i have'' and she smirked at me as if i was an idiot
wait what?
she knows meshal?
my meshal?
my fiance?
how?
when?
where?
and since when does meshal know ppl like her?
well at least its better to say ppl like what shes become
cuz i used to be her friend in all fairness....
point is what the hell is going on here?
i looked at her with rage firing from my eyes, i guess she saw it, i knew that her comment infuriated me....made me want more information from her
''ok so are you going to talk or not?''
''first we make a little agreement, then we meet up again and i will spill i promise''
''alright, what do u have in mind?''
''my terms are easy, pay me 10,000 KD and you know everything''
''are you insane! 10,000! no way am i paying someone that much money for information!''
what the hell is she thinking!
''you can go to hell danah but im leaving''
''let me ask you something....meshal still snores right? i mean when u guys have that romantic thing where you stay on the phone all night just to pretend like you're sleeping with one another...he snores....right?''
how the hell did she know?
why does she know so much about my fiance!
theres something that i dont know
something that i need to figure out!
but she can go to hell if she thinks im paying her that much money to find out
''alright yes..a lot of men snore....so what...''
''oh believe me lulu i know a lot of other things...like the fact that he has a cute lisp that appears only when hes excited, and the fact that he will hug his girlfriend and never ever kiss her....he even tells her when hes in a relationship with her that hes like that.....''
''alright danah im serious spill how do you know all this about my fiance?''
''you see lulu, i bet no matter how hard you look, you wont find a guy in kuwait that didnt date me for a little while, it was a goal of mine you see.....and your fiance? he was my first serious relationship...i loved him and he loved me back with all his heart...''
i was shocked! but i wasnt going to giver that bitch the satisfaction of seeing that....''so you were together, and you loved him and he loved you....yada yada yada..... why arnt u together now?''
she had a bitter look on her face.....''i lost that man, the man i loved because of another man, a man that made him dump me because he cudnt stand to see us together and happy...a man i will never forgive as long as im alive...''
shes insane...seriously i think that shes nuts ''alright, if i believe all the crap that you're saying here, lets assume that i do....who was the man and why would he do that?''
she looked at me with sadness filling her eyes...''the man did that because he had heard of me dating so many men and thought that i wasnt worthy of his friend, he thought we were better off seperated...that man is a freak...''
''you're forgetting the more important question here....WHO was that man danah? im starting to think that staying was a bad idea. clearly you just wanna waste my time and fill my head with crap because u cant believe that im getting married to the love of your life in a month...''
''lulu you dont get it do you? screw meshal, he was a **** for even listening to his friend and not fighting for me...no, the thing thats killing me until today is that man. that annoying pathetic excuse of a man who did that to us to begin with no matter how meshal turned out....''
''danah spare me the details, tell me who the hell that man was before i decide to leave''
she looked at me with an unreadable expression and whispered ''lulu that man was your brother wahab....''
great.
just great.
just when i thought things coulddnt get worse...
they do.
i should learn by now that they always do....
Friday, January 8, 2010
Black Love 5
i visited him every single day
he was the only thing that made me remember my brother
my mother removed all his pictures around the house because she would cry whenever she saw them and she feared i would too. no one was allowed to speak of him in our house anymore
my father started to work in order to forget about it too
my mother was always crying in her room
but meshal, he was the one who spoke of my brother as if he was a hero
he was the one who told me about everything he had done in order to protect me
all the people he had to fight with
all the people he had to befriend
all of it.
the days passed and danah and i were drifting apart
she hated how i was friends with meshal
she always said that i liked him
i kept telling her that i saw my brother in him and that was the only reason i spent more time with him than i did with her.
she didnt believe me
she kept saying that meshal and i were in a relationship and i was scared to tell her
she was simply jealous
and of what? i had no idea
4 years and 10 months and 5 days after the death of my brother
danah called me up
i was surprised
i hadnt spoken to her in a long time
she told me that she had to see me
she told me that it was urgent
i knew that i had to go...
i called meshal and told him not to call me for an hour or two since i was meeting her
he hated the idea
he told me not to
he told me to not believe anything she said
he spoke as if he feared she would tell me something
something he clearly didnt want me to know
i was engaged to meshal
we were going to get married in a month
and this is the only reason i told him where i was going
i told no one else
no one needed to know
i entered chocolate bar and waited for her
she came
she looked different
she had lots of makeup on
and she was wearing the tightest clothes
things she never used to do when we were friends
i guess people change
she sat down and looked at me with a smirk
she said that it was time she told me
and i was ready to hear it
the whole truth
she started to tell me how she always thought that wahab was a gentleman
she said she always had a crush on him
that she loved him since we were kids
i looked at her with confusion in my eyes
is this why she called me?
to talk to me about a crush she had over my dead brother?
she sensed my discomfort so she changed the topic
she told me about how she was always jealous of me
how all the guys wanted me although she was the better looking one
how i got things i never asked for
while she needed to ask a million times before she managed to get anything
how i had the perfect family
while her parents constantly hit her whenever they thought she did something wrong
i told her to stop
i didnt need to hear this
to waste my time on her childish memories of hatred
i got up to leave
but she also got up and held me by the wrist
"dont u wanna hear about how and why your brother died?" she asked
"he got murdered by some creep called 3abood.."
"thats not the whole story, so unless u dont wanna hear it, i suggest u stay for a while and bear with me" and with that she sat down with triumph and looked at me expecting me to sit down.
how my brother died?
i knew how he died
what more was there for her to tell me...
my phone started ringing
7ayatie <3 was flashing on the screen
i was going to pick it up
but danah started to laugh
and told me
"if its meshal dont answer, he's scared that i tell u the truth. or answer him and tell him to call u back in a while. u need to hear this before talking to him"
i answered him
"7abeebi, im still with danah ill call u in a bit ok?"
"um ok, is everything ok?"
"yea, why wudnt it be?"
"oh no nothing"
"ok then bye."
and with that i closed the phone
and waited for danah to tell me the rest of the story
i knew that she had the facts
and i wanted to hear them
every single one of them.
he was the only thing that made me remember my brother
my mother removed all his pictures around the house because she would cry whenever she saw them and she feared i would too. no one was allowed to speak of him in our house anymore
my father started to work in order to forget about it too
my mother was always crying in her room
but meshal, he was the one who spoke of my brother as if he was a hero
he was the one who told me about everything he had done in order to protect me
all the people he had to fight with
all the people he had to befriend
all of it.
the days passed and danah and i were drifting apart
she hated how i was friends with meshal
she always said that i liked him
i kept telling her that i saw my brother in him and that was the only reason i spent more time with him than i did with her.
she didnt believe me
she kept saying that meshal and i were in a relationship and i was scared to tell her
she was simply jealous
and of what? i had no idea
4 years and 10 months and 5 days after the death of my brother
danah called me up
i was surprised
i hadnt spoken to her in a long time
she told me that she had to see me
she told me that it was urgent
i knew that i had to go...
i called meshal and told him not to call me for an hour or two since i was meeting her
he hated the idea
he told me not to
he told me to not believe anything she said
he spoke as if he feared she would tell me something
something he clearly didnt want me to know
i was engaged to meshal
we were going to get married in a month
and this is the only reason i told him where i was going
i told no one else
no one needed to know
i entered chocolate bar and waited for her
she came
she looked different
she had lots of makeup on
and she was wearing the tightest clothes
things she never used to do when we were friends
i guess people change
she sat down and looked at me with a smirk
she said that it was time she told me
and i was ready to hear it
the whole truth
she started to tell me how she always thought that wahab was a gentleman
she said she always had a crush on him
that she loved him since we were kids
i looked at her with confusion in my eyes
is this why she called me?
to talk to me about a crush she had over my dead brother?
she sensed my discomfort so she changed the topic
she told me about how she was always jealous of me
how all the guys wanted me although she was the better looking one
how i got things i never asked for
while she needed to ask a million times before she managed to get anything
how i had the perfect family
while her parents constantly hit her whenever they thought she did something wrong
i told her to stop
i didnt need to hear this
to waste my time on her childish memories of hatred
i got up to leave
but she also got up and held me by the wrist
"dont u wanna hear about how and why your brother died?" she asked
"he got murdered by some creep called 3abood.."
"thats not the whole story, so unless u dont wanna hear it, i suggest u stay for a while and bear with me" and with that she sat down with triumph and looked at me expecting me to sit down.
how my brother died?
i knew how he died
what more was there for her to tell me...
my phone started ringing
7ayatie <3 was flashing on the screen
i was going to pick it up
but danah started to laugh
and told me
"if its meshal dont answer, he's scared that i tell u the truth. or answer him and tell him to call u back in a while. u need to hear this before talking to him"
i answered him
"7abeebi, im still with danah ill call u in a bit ok?"
"um ok, is everything ok?"
"yea, why wudnt it be?"
"oh no nothing"
"ok then bye."
and with that i closed the phone
and waited for danah to tell me the rest of the story
i knew that she had the facts
and i wanted to hear them
every single one of them.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Black Love 4
First of all you guys.
just to clear things up
this story is based on true facts
from the lives of different people
the names are not the same,
and its tid bits of different ppls lives
so no, it is not a real story i guess
do not assume that it is, Black Love will be my way of expressing myself
and my next story will be my story.
to those people who said they hated my blog.
thanks. seriously. at least you took the time to give me feedback
even though u were anything but polite about it.
but I'm going to keep writing whether you like it or not.
everyone you can thank 7amood, my best friend, for this post.
him pissing me off and telling me it sucked made me insist on posting again tonight
and thanks to all who commented on the last post.
your comments mean the world to me
________________________
i was fuming in the car.
i called danah and told her to come and meet me in the car since i was done
we went to school and my mood sucked for the rest of the day
i would snap at people whenever they talked to me
and i paid no attention to my classes at all.
i went back home to talk to my brother wahab
i told him everything that happened today and he promised me to take care of it
he even called his friends in front of me in order to calm me down.
then he left.
that was the last time i saw him.
alive that is.
wahab and his friends got into a fight with a bunch of guys.
the guys that were friends with 3abood
he was stabbed.
literally.
apparently my brother and 3abood were fighting one another and each one ended up killing the other.
and since wahab had taken 2 friends with him, one was badly injured while the other had also passed away.
my brother.
my sole protector.
my favorite person in the world.
he was gone.
and it was all my fault.
i was depressed for the next couple of days. not a day went by without my crying my eyes out over causing the death of my brother.
and danah? oh yea she was so supportive of me the whole time
in the 3aza she sat next to me holding her BB and texting
with a smile plastered on her face
and she told me she was smiling because she wanted to cheer me up.
looking back at that i know i was an idiot to believe her.
who does that anyways?
smiles at a 3aza to cheer sm1 up??!!
that night i told my driver to drop me off at the hospital
i was determined to see my brothers friend after his mother came to my brothers funeral
i needed to know everything
every detail
and i knew he would tell me everything.
i arrived and knocked at the door. no one answered. no one was inside to begin with...
i walked down the Starbucks and ordered myself a drink
one man caught my attention
a man that had caught the attention of everyone sitting in the cafe
a man who had bags under his eyes
a sad look on his face
he looked like he was carrying the weight of a 40 year old's problems
in truth he was only 19 or so.
i felt sorry for him
he reminded me of wahab.
just a little.
so i got up and offered to get him a drink of water
i sat with him and made him tell me his story
every word he said made me cry
every second his lips moved my heart broke
every breath he took i shivered
it was him
my brothers friend
this handsome man in front of me
he was meshal.....
just to clear things up
this story is based on true facts
from the lives of different people
the names are not the same,
and its tid bits of different ppls lives
so no, it is not a real story i guess
do not assume that it is, Black Love will be my way of expressing myself
and my next story will be my story.
to those people who said they hated my blog.
thanks. seriously. at least you took the time to give me feedback
even though u were anything but polite about it.
but I'm going to keep writing whether you like it or not.
everyone you can thank 7amood, my best friend, for this post.
him pissing me off and telling me it sucked made me insist on posting again tonight
and thanks to all who commented on the last post.
your comments mean the world to me
________________________
i was fuming in the car.
i called danah and told her to come and meet me in the car since i was done
we went to school and my mood sucked for the rest of the day
i would snap at people whenever they talked to me
and i paid no attention to my classes at all.
i went back home to talk to my brother wahab
i told him everything that happened today and he promised me to take care of it
he even called his friends in front of me in order to calm me down.
then he left.
that was the last time i saw him.
alive that is.
wahab and his friends got into a fight with a bunch of guys.
the guys that were friends with 3abood
he was stabbed.
literally.
apparently my brother and 3abood were fighting one another and each one ended up killing the other.
and since wahab had taken 2 friends with him, one was badly injured while the other had also passed away.
my brother.
my sole protector.
my favorite person in the world.
he was gone.
and it was all my fault.
i was depressed for the next couple of days. not a day went by without my crying my eyes out over causing the death of my brother.
and danah? oh yea she was so supportive of me the whole time
in the 3aza she sat next to me holding her BB and texting
with a smile plastered on her face
and she told me she was smiling because she wanted to cheer me up.
looking back at that i know i was an idiot to believe her.
who does that anyways?
smiles at a 3aza to cheer sm1 up??!!
that night i told my driver to drop me off at the hospital
i was determined to see my brothers friend after his mother came to my brothers funeral
i needed to know everything
every detail
and i knew he would tell me everything.
i arrived and knocked at the door. no one answered. no one was inside to begin with...
i walked down the Starbucks and ordered myself a drink
one man caught my attention
a man that had caught the attention of everyone sitting in the cafe
a man who had bags under his eyes
a sad look on his face
he looked like he was carrying the weight of a 40 year old's problems
in truth he was only 19 or so.
i felt sorry for him
he reminded me of wahab.
just a little.
so i got up and offered to get him a drink of water
i sat with him and made him tell me his story
every word he said made me cry
every second his lips moved my heart broke
every breath he took i shivered
it was him
my brothers friend
this handsome man in front of me
he was meshal.....
Black Love 3
Third post as promised!
SEE i do keep my promises!
Thank you for your comment everyone and i hope that more ppl would start reading this and commenting.... Seeing as that i am inspired by your comments and feedback!
This post is dedicated to the love of my life....
Dairy of Fudge....this is for you 7ayatie!
_____________________________________
To say i was surprised was an understatement.
i calmly removed my headphones and looked at him
just...looked at him
my mouth couldnt even open and i couldnt enunciate any of the thoughts going through my head
"shlonich lulu? ismich lulu 9a7? tadreen ana kil mokan aroo7la algach? chinnich my guardian angel, til7agnee wain aroo7, bas tadreen wallah intay bo bas angel, antay a7la bwayid" and he winked at me
"law sima7t lati7arash feeni, mali 5ilg ti7irish min il9ib7" i said and glared at him with hatred in my eyes. LOL he looked like someone had just slapped him.
why'd he have to come up to me and be a jerk
why couldnt he let me have that fantasy of him being the good guy...
but, how'd he know my name???!!
As he was about to get up, i stood and looked him straight in the eyes "look, no offence, but im not that type of girl, u want someone like that just go to some mall and follow sm hailigiya with rainbow colors on her face. i have pride, i dont let guys say that stuff to me. Howd u even know my name? noone knows me! "
he was smirking! right after i gave him that speech he smirked
he looked at me with the most unreadable expression in his eyes and said
" lulu, when theres someone that you want out there, you find everything out about them. i know ur 17, and i know u go to the XXXX school in kuwait. believe me half the guys i know are just dying for you to look at them. but me? no, im not dying for you to look at me....i know that youre going to fall in love with me sooner or later whether you like it or not. i go after what i want and its you right now"
i looked at him like he was crazy! damn it why wudnt he leave me alone!!
and why the hell does he keep saying that guys know my name and whatever!
i guess its all a bunch of crap hes saying just to get on my good side.
screw him okay!
but before i ended this retarded convo i needed something
something that i couldnt get unless i acted like i liked him back
" hehehe okaaaay. ya7lailik, shismik int?"
"ana? :P ana ismy 3abood il flani"
"3ashat ilasami 3abood.. bas ilthahir mo mrabyeenik 3adil"
and with that i took hold of the paper cup filled with -now cold- hot chocolate
and threw that in his face, picked up my stuff and walked away...
yup i can be a bitch when it comes to guys like that
and hell yea he deserved it
SEE i do keep my promises!
Thank you for your comment everyone and i hope that more ppl would start reading this and commenting.... Seeing as that i am inspired by your comments and feedback!
This post is dedicated to the love of my life....
Dairy of Fudge....this is for you 7ayatie!
_____________________________________
To say i was surprised was an understatement.
i calmly removed my headphones and looked at him
just...looked at him
my mouth couldnt even open and i couldnt enunciate any of the thoughts going through my head
"shlonich lulu? ismich lulu 9a7? tadreen ana kil mokan aroo7la algach? chinnich my guardian angel, til7agnee wain aroo7, bas tadreen wallah intay bo bas angel, antay a7la bwayid" and he winked at me
"law sima7t lati7arash feeni, mali 5ilg ti7irish min il9ib7" i said and glared at him with hatred in my eyes. LOL he looked like someone had just slapped him.
why'd he have to come up to me and be a jerk
why couldnt he let me have that fantasy of him being the good guy...
but, how'd he know my name???!!
As he was about to get up, i stood and looked him straight in the eyes "look, no offence, but im not that type of girl, u want someone like that just go to some mall and follow sm hailigiya with rainbow colors on her face. i have pride, i dont let guys say that stuff to me. Howd u even know my name? noone knows me! "
he was smirking! right after i gave him that speech he smirked
he looked at me with the most unreadable expression in his eyes and said
" lulu, when theres someone that you want out there, you find everything out about them. i know ur 17, and i know u go to the XXXX school in kuwait. believe me half the guys i know are just dying for you to look at them. but me? no, im not dying for you to look at me....i know that youre going to fall in love with me sooner or later whether you like it or not. i go after what i want and its you right now"
i looked at him like he was crazy! damn it why wudnt he leave me alone!!
and why the hell does he keep saying that guys know my name and whatever!
i guess its all a bunch of crap hes saying just to get on my good side.
screw him okay!
but before i ended this retarded convo i needed something
something that i couldnt get unless i acted like i liked him back
" hehehe okaaaay. ya7lailik, shismik int?"
"ana? :P ana ismy 3abood il flani"
"3ashat ilasami 3abood.. bas ilthahir mo mrabyeenik 3adil"
and with that i took hold of the paper cup filled with -now cold- hot chocolate
and threw that in his face, picked up my stuff and walked away...
yup i can be a bitch when it comes to guys like that
and hell yea he deserved it
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Black Love 2
i got up and put on my favorite hoodie
i wore skinnies and tied my hair up in a ponytail
i love free dress days at school
i went to pick danah up from their house cuz we usually rode to school together
the thing about danah is that shes prettier than i am
i dont find that something to be jealous about, on the contrary im pretty happy that im not the one who gets stalked when i go shopping and recieves calls from 3gaidy guys who got my number from God knows who....
no i was normal
and i was happy
and i knew that i didnt need a guy in my life in order to be happy
now danah, she didnt know that
and every single day on the way to school she would be BBMing God knows how many guys
i seriously lost track after the tenth one she mentioned
i dont like the fact that she talks to guys
but she told me that shes just friends with them
that, i highly doubt...
but, whatever, her life, im not gonna interfere
we decided to stop at startbucks before going to school
and to my luck he was there
yes him, the mystery guy
the guy that i ran into no matter where i went
i even ran into him when i was at my friends house!
apperently he was there to see her brother
point is this gorgeous guy ive been seeing around everywhere is also here
i havent told danah about him cuz i know how she is,
she'll start saying that i like him and what-not
but i dont
i dont know him
im just....intersted?
anyway so we went and stood at the casheir to make our orders
and we sat down and had a blast
but danah was always texting,
she NEVER put her phone down,
not for one second.
she accidently knocked over her cup and stained her skirt with hot chocolate,
i told her to go to the bathroom to try and clean it up and i'd wait for her
as soon as she was out of sight
i pulled my ipod out and started listening to my favorite music
as i was swaying to the music and kinda got carried away
as i opened my eyes after dancing like a maniac i looked at the empty seat that danah was sitting in only to find the gorgeous guy that i always ran into sitting in it
he had this smile on his face that meant he had been looking at me the whole time
my cheeks burnt up
and i dipped my head down in embarrasment
why wud he come here
why wud he even talk to me?
he doesnt KNOW me!
?:"guwaa"
and he flashed me a killer smile
i wore skinnies and tied my hair up in a ponytail
i love free dress days at school
i went to pick danah up from their house cuz we usually rode to school together
the thing about danah is that shes prettier than i am
i dont find that something to be jealous about, on the contrary im pretty happy that im not the one who gets stalked when i go shopping and recieves calls from 3gaidy guys who got my number from God knows who....
no i was normal
and i was happy
and i knew that i didnt need a guy in my life in order to be happy
now danah, she didnt know that
and every single day on the way to school she would be BBMing God knows how many guys
i seriously lost track after the tenth one she mentioned
i dont like the fact that she talks to guys
but she told me that shes just friends with them
that, i highly doubt...
but, whatever, her life, im not gonna interfere
we decided to stop at startbucks before going to school
and to my luck he was there
yes him, the mystery guy
the guy that i ran into no matter where i went
i even ran into him when i was at my friends house!
apperently he was there to see her brother
point is this gorgeous guy ive been seeing around everywhere is also here
i havent told danah about him cuz i know how she is,
she'll start saying that i like him and what-not
but i dont
i dont know him
im just....intersted?
anyway so we went and stood at the casheir to make our orders
and we sat down and had a blast
but danah was always texting,
she NEVER put her phone down,
not for one second.
she accidently knocked over her cup and stained her skirt with hot chocolate,
i told her to go to the bathroom to try and clean it up and i'd wait for her
as soon as she was out of sight
i pulled my ipod out and started listening to my favorite music
as i was swaying to the music and kinda got carried away
as i opened my eyes after dancing like a maniac i looked at the empty seat that danah was sitting in only to find the gorgeous guy that i always ran into sitting in it
he had this smile on his face that meant he had been looking at me the whole time
my cheeks burnt up
and i dipped my head down in embarrasment
why wud he come here
why wud he even talk to me?
he doesnt KNOW me!
?:"guwaa"
and he flashed me a killer smile
Black Love 1
I never wanted to do this,
i never even thought about it in the past
HE was the one who was always trying to convince me to do it
he would always joke about it
but now...
its no joke..
its real...
and im too far in,
i cant get out,
i sighed looking at the ocean remembering all our memories here
this is the place we always met in
by coincidence of course.....on my part at least
little did i know that he had my best friend call him up whenever i came here
my BEST friend was a narc
it all started because of her
and its all going to probably end because of her too
meshal...that was his name
i loved him with all my heart
but i guess that wasnt enough for him...
i cant help but think that he's probably getting ready right now
he's getting ready for the wedding
and i'm here
the wedding that i cant attend
not now, not after knowing this
it all happened 5 years ago...
i was just a normal girl
every one says that im pretty
but i think that im plain, not pretty at all...
him, he was gorgeous
he was all i wanted in a man
and most importantly he took care of me
thats all i needed......
back then.
i looked over at my phone and saw 2 missed calls
why was he calling me?
he should be getting ready for the wedding...
i love him, but my love is black
i cant stand being around him anymore
not after what he did
not after what he continues to do
im a person with pride
and he keeps stepping on it every single time...
its time i move on
i dropped my phone next to me on the beach
and started to cry
i've been depressed for the past month
and its all because of that bitch.
her name was danah
and she was my best friend
Danah ;* was flashing on my phone
im not going to answer her
she can go to hell
she was a bitch and im glad she knew it
it wasnt until i heard a noise from behind me did i realize that i wasnt alone
i couldnt look back, i was scared to death
he cleared his throat and i HAD to look back
MESHAL? why the hell was he here
and who told him that i wanted to see him anyways?
"7ayatie lulu, get up, dont do this to yourself... go get ready for the wedding"
i looked at him with tears in my eyes and got up
he hurt me
but he was always there for me
he was my addiction
and i knew that he was bad for me
but somehow, i could never give him up
i ran towards my car and got in
i was in such a mess that i couldnt drive
i called mimi and told her to come pick me up
i just sat there remembering everything that happened
how it all started
5 years ago...
i never even thought about it in the past
HE was the one who was always trying to convince me to do it
he would always joke about it
but now...
its no joke..
its real...
and im too far in,
i cant get out,
i sighed looking at the ocean remembering all our memories here
this is the place we always met in
by coincidence of course.....on my part at least
little did i know that he had my best friend call him up whenever i came here
my BEST friend was a narc
it all started because of her
and its all going to probably end because of her too
meshal...that was his name
i loved him with all my heart
but i guess that wasnt enough for him...
i cant help but think that he's probably getting ready right now
he's getting ready for the wedding
and i'm here
the wedding that i cant attend
not now, not after knowing this
it all happened 5 years ago...
i was just a normal girl
every one says that im pretty
but i think that im plain, not pretty at all...
him, he was gorgeous
he was all i wanted in a man
and most importantly he took care of me
thats all i needed......
back then.
i looked over at my phone and saw 2 missed calls
why was he calling me?
he should be getting ready for the wedding...
i love him, but my love is black
i cant stand being around him anymore
not after what he did
not after what he continues to do
im a person with pride
and he keeps stepping on it every single time...
its time i move on
i dropped my phone next to me on the beach
and started to cry
i've been depressed for the past month
and its all because of that bitch.
her name was danah
and she was my best friend
Danah ;* was flashing on my phone
im not going to answer her
she can go to hell
she was a bitch and im glad she knew it
it wasnt until i heard a noise from behind me did i realize that i wasnt alone
i couldnt look back, i was scared to death
he cleared his throat and i HAD to look back
MESHAL? why the hell was he here
and who told him that i wanted to see him anyways?
"7ayatie lulu, get up, dont do this to yourself... go get ready for the wedding"
i looked at him with tears in my eyes and got up
he hurt me
but he was always there for me
he was my addiction
and i knew that he was bad for me
but somehow, i could never give him up
i ran towards my car and got in
i was in such a mess that i couldnt drive
i called mimi and told her to come pick me up
i just sat there remembering everything that happened
how it all started
5 years ago...
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