Black Love 1

I never wanted to do this,
i never even thought about it in the past
HE was the one who was always trying to convince me to do it
he would always joke about it
but now...
its no joke..
its real...
and im too far in,
i cant get out,

i sighed looking at the ocean remembering all our memories here
this is the place we always met in
by coincidence of course.....on my part at least
little did i know that he had my best friend call him up whenever i came here
my BEST friend was a narc
it all started because of her
and its all going to probably end because of her too

meshal...that was his name
i loved him with all my heart
but i guess that wasnt enough for him...

i cant help but think that he's probably getting ready right now
he's getting ready for the wedding
and i'm here
the wedding that i cant attend
not now, not after knowing this

it all happened 5 years ago...
i was just a normal girl
every one says that im pretty
but i think that im plain, not pretty at all...
him, he was gorgeous
he was all i wanted in a man
and most importantly he took care of me
thats all i needed......
back then.

i looked over at my phone and saw 2 missed calls
why was he calling me?
he should be getting ready for the wedding...

i love him, but my love is black
i cant stand being around him anymore
not after what he did
not after what he continues to do
im a person with pride
and he keeps stepping on it every single time...
its time i move on

i dropped my phone next to me on the beach
and started to cry
i've been depressed for the past month
and its all because of that bitch.
her name was danah
and she was my best friend

Danah ;* was flashing on my phone
im not going to answer her
she can go to hell
she was a bitch and im glad she knew it

it wasnt until i heard a noise from behind me did i realize that i wasnt alone
i couldnt look back, i was scared to death
he cleared his throat and i HAD to look back
MESHAL? why the hell was he here
and who told him that i wanted to see him anyways?

"7ayatie lulu, get up, dont do this to yourself... go get ready for the wedding"
i looked at him with tears in my eyes and got up
he hurt me
but he was always there for me
he was my addiction
and i knew that he was bad for me
but somehow, i could never give him up

i ran towards my car and got in
i was in such a mess that i couldnt drive
i called mimi and told her to come pick me up

i just sat there remembering everything that happened
how it all started
5 years ago...